This is an update to one of our original posts, dealing with my PTSD (which you can read here). It has been 2 years on my road of discovery. As you can tell from the title, things have gotten better. Why? How? What is going on? Well, you have to continue to read to find out!

PTSD recovery is a slow process

There are definitely ups and downs. Relapses occur, last night I was awake for several hours playing some incidents over and over in my mind that happened after getting out of the Corps. Things that were created due to my persistent drive to be perfect (or someone dies), to take on more tasks (because they need done), etc…

Most people associate PTSD with missing limbs, severe combat injuries or firefights. Mine is created by having to be right. Every. Single. Time. Or someone was not coming back. Add in a dash of small arms fire, season with a few convoys across IED central and whammo! Timebomb of frustration, anger, inability to stop (doing anything) and a deep burning desire to take on more and more responsibility and tasks.

What has improved?

I am extremely more relaxed. My alcohol consumption has dropped to almost zero, truly social at this point. The drive to be perfect in every single situation is much lower. I do not look for fields of fire, strange packages/lumps on the road are not a source of anxiety and I can spend more time in crowds before it becomes a problem.

I continue to lose weight, not massive amounts, but it is happening. I contribute this to a lack of severe depression and eating less processed foods (check out our eating on the road here, great post if I do say so myself!)

How is this happening?

I am on the same meds for PTSD that I have been on for several years. So that is not it. I am in the New Mexico where the marijuana flows like water, but I do not partake (personal choice), so that is not it. What could it possibly be? I contribute it to 3 major factors.

Making my own schedule

No one tells me where to be, when to be there and how long I must remain. I have truly become the master of my own ship. If I want to not eat until dinner, I don’t eat. That sounds silly, I am sure, but it is small steps. I choose how much “peopling” I want to do and when I am done, I leave. If I want to go for a long walk, with no defined course or return time, that is just fine. This leads to probably the most important thing I have done…

Unplugging from American society

Calm down. I am still a proud American. America is still my nation of choice. Americans (for the most part) are still my community. However; in order to deal with my PTSD, I had to redefine what “success” meant. For me, it no longer means the nicest house on the street. Heck, it does not even mean a house! I camp full time. Success, for me, no longer means being at the top of a corporate ladder. It does not mean fancy new vehicles. So what does define success for me?

Experiences, learning new things, being outside, going new places – all of these are “success” for me. Every once in a while I pick up a camp hosting job, just to inject some structure and variety. I decide how much I interact with society. I spend a good deal of time exploring. That could be anything from exploring what culinary adventures a new town has to summitting a mountain (on the list, have not quite done it yet!).

This leads me to something very important, quite possible the key to all of it.

PTSD can be banished by getting outside!

Well, at least mine can – for a time (along with medication and proper doctor supervision – this is not where you start thinking “I don’t have to take my meds anymore!”) . There has been an increasing number of psychological studies and experiments that have concluded that merely being outside can help with psychological disorders, regaining attention and cognitive abilities and lowering stress. This is a link to a great article “Nurtured by nature” published by the American Psychological Association in April 2020.

I find that even one long hike outside, with limited people, can provide relaxation for several days. It seems that for me, trees and long sight lines (like mountain views) work the best.

Handle PTSD one new adventure at a time

I have a very supportive wife, which has been crucial. She did not blink when I suggested unplugging and traveling the United States for the rest of our lives. It helps me immensly to know that I am not tied to anyone location. I can not stress enough the value of extracting myself from the “rat race” and enjoying nature. The value of enjoying my life can not be measured in dollars, or possessions.

I am considering writing a book; “Redefining Success”, what do you all think? Let me know in the comments.

In the meantime, be sure to subscribe to our page by putting your email address in on the main page – nomadic-serenity.com and catch up on our archives. You can always connect with me on my Instagram page stevenholland.nomad. Vets, reach out – sometimes our community is the only one that understands.